The Hijacked Woman: Rediscovering Femininity in Light of Islam

In an age where truth is increasingly distorted, the Muslim woman finds herself pulled in many directions. She is told to be strong, independent, unshaken — chasing careers, climbing corporate ladders, proving her worth in a world that constantly asks her to become someone she’s not. Yet the Qur’an never placed such a burden on her. Nor did the Prophet ﷺ. Instead, Islam dignified her in her natural state — as a woman, not in spite of it.

There is an uncomfortable truth many do not want to hear: the feminist movement, despite its promises, has not liberated the woman. It has pulled her out of the home, severed her from her nurturing role, made her resent motherhood, and pit her against the very one she was created to support: man.

“The woman was created from a rib, and the most crooked part of the rib is the top part. If you try to straighten it, you will break it. But if you leave it as it is, it will remain crooked. So treat women kindly.”
(Bukhari & Muslim)

This hadith is often misunderstood. The rib is not weak in value — but it is curved by nature. It’s shaped that way to support, protect, and surround vital organs. This is not a flaw — it is a design. Allah created the woman with softness, with receptiveness, with the ability to carry the next generation — physically and morally.

“And from amongst His Signs is this: That He created for you wives from amongst yourselves, so that you may find serenity and tranquility in them, And He has put between you love and compassion. Indeed, in this are signs for those who reflect.” [Al-Qur’aan 30:21]

Femininity in the Qur’an

Allah says:

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women…”
(Surah An-Nisā’, 4:34)

“And the male is not like the female.”
(Surah Āl-‘Imrān, 3:36)

These verses are not oppressive — they are clarifying. Men and women are not meant to mimic one another. They are created with distinct purposes, strengths, and realms of responsibility. The woman’s power lies not in imitating men but in embracing what Allah has uniquely placed within her: softness, patience, care, and the ability to nourish and uphold the next generation.

Sadly, many women today have been convinced that to be dignified, they must dominate. That to be valuable, they must compete. But this is not the Islamic lens. This is the modern world’s whisper.

What is True Femininity?

True femininity in Islam is not weakness. It is honour. It is knowing your place with Allah, with the family, and in the society. It is choosing softness where hardness is glorified. It is embracing nurturing where the world pushes ambition. This doesn’t mean Islam prohibits women from working — but her role must always remain within the hudood (boundaries) set by Allah and guided by the Sunnah.

The home in Islam was never a place of humiliation for the woman. Rather, it was the centre of sakīnah, cultivation, and the raising of generations.

Allah honoured the woman by giving her space away from the harshness of the marketplace, from constant scrutiny, from the battles of public life. She was given a noble realm: the home, the upbringing of children, and the heart of her husband’s comfort and support. These are not lowly jobs — they are weighty amanah entrusted to her.

“The righteous spouse is a comfort to the heart and a shield against sin, while disregard for her rights invites calamity.”
Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah. Zaad al-Ma’ad fi Hadyi Khayr al-‘Ibaad. Vol. 4

“Your wives are a garment for you and you are a garment for them.”
(Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:187)

Garments are intimate, protective, and beautifying. They don’t compete with the body — they complete it. Just as man and woman complete one another in different roles.

Was Khadījah (RA) Really “Independent”?

Some point to Khadījah bint Khuwaylid (RA), saying, “But she was a businesswoman. She worked.” Yet, let us reflect carefully and honestly. She was indeed a woman of wealth, but she did not roam the markets. She hired men to conduct business on her behalf. She was dignified, reserved, modest. And when she married the Prophet ﷺ, she gave him her full support — not just financially, but morally, with the unseen, and the seen (physically). She did not compete with him; she honoured him.

Her business was managed indirectly, and after marriage, her focus was on her home and the support of the Prophet ﷺ’s da‘wah.

Let us not take fragments of her story and paint them with a Western brush. That is dishonest and choosing ideology over truth.

The Subtle Deception

Shayṭān does not come openly, holding a flag that says “Feminism is here to destroy your home.” He comes subtly, with “self-love,” “boss-girl,” “you don’t need a man,” and slowly removes the woman from her place.

Today, some women don’t want the feminist label but still carry the same expectations: the man must be rich, gentle, “spiritual”, “emotionally” aware, a father, a therapist, a chef, a provider, and a friend. But she herself — what has she become?

If the man must do everything, then what is left of your role?

Allah did not design woman to replace man, nor man to replace woman. Our roles were complementary by divine design.

“Whoever works righteousness, male or female, while they are a believer — We will surely grant them a good life…”
(Surah An-Naḥl, 16:97)

The equality Allah speaks of is not in duties — but in rewards. You are equal in your striving, your taqwā, your Jannah. But the tasks you carry are different.

Interestingly, even non-Muslim women are beginning to recognize the fallout of modern feminism and the erosion of family-centered living:

1. Erica Komisar — Motherhood and the Cost of Absence

Erica Komisar, an American psychoanalyst and author, argues that modern culture has deeply undervalued the presence of mothers in the home, especially during a child’s early years. She critiques the pressure placed upon women to prioritize careers over nurturing and caregiving, warning that society often ignores the long-term effects this has on children and family stability.

Her observations echo an important Islamic reality: motherhood is not a secondary role or a burden to “move past,” but one of the greatest responsibilities Allah has entrusted to women.

2. Suzanne Venker — Feminism and the Breakdown of Family Roles

Suzanne Venker openly critiques modern feminism for creating conflict between men and women instead of harmony between them. She argues that many women were promised fulfillment through independence and career achievement alone, yet were left exhausted, dissatisfied, and disconnected from family life.

Venker emphasizes that men and women flourish best when their natural differences are acknowledged rather than erased — a reality Islam clarified long before modern society began debating it.

3. Helen Andrews — The Loss of Traditional Womanhood

Helen Andrews, an American journalist and cultural critic, writes about the societal consequences of abandoning traditional family structures and roles. She critiques the modern idea that fulfillment is found only through public achievement and professional success, arguing that this mindset has weakened the home and stripped motherhood and domestic life of their honour.

Her reflections highlight something many have forgotten: a stable society begins within stable homes and families.

These voices, though not from a Muslim lens, still point toward a reality Islam has always affirmed: women thrive not by competing with men, but by embracing the unique qualities and responsibilities Allah created within them.

A Call to Reflect

Dear sisters, ask yourself:

Where did my ideas of womanhood come from?

Do I truly know what Islam expects from me as a woman?

Have I absorbed subtle lies from society that make me ashamed of my natural role?

Am I trying to become what Allah never created me to be?

Conclusion

To return to femininity is not to return to weakness. It is to return to real strength — through submission, shaped by Qur’an, protected by modesty, nurtured by purpose, and honoured through dignity. Let us realign our views, not through societal trends or secular speakers, but through the words of the One who created us.

-n.dahlia